Rosemary Diaries - Day 137

I was built to be alone. It was always like that, and as it looks like, it will always be. But I hate to see people on the same situation as me. I really believe we are meant to be a group, one thing. But I’m always moving around. Conquering new lands and scaring new people with my crazy antics and spontaneous behavior.

Will I change? I want to.

Will that happen? Probably not.

So to start writing Cravo’s adventure has been quite hard for me. I know what lies ahead for him. He has a journey of around a year to go before going back to his loved one. ONE YEAR. He’s gonna be brutally bullied and attacked. Mentally and physically, he’ll be a train wreck when he gets to where he’s supposed to. It’ll be even worse when he realizes why he did all those things in the first place. As more as I want that things be black and white, the grays are always there to hunt me, and in this case my son. Cravo.

Cravo, isn’t me. He wasn’t built to roam around alone. He was built to care for those around him. Even if those are just a couple of people, he’ll do it. And he won’t leave them until he’s sure they can handle. That’s the way he’s been taking care of his father and his best friend Hugo. So when Rosa shows up and ask that he gives up all of that to go on a journey for her, imagine what went into this young man’s head. He’ll do it. But first he has to change his nature. Change who he is.

That’s hard. To see oneself in your creature. To see it being just like you and going into the same changes you have to go. I haven’t been able to do it yet. As my good friend Joe Iconis would say A structure is perfection. I’ve really planned and structure this book. Because of this I’ve been able to attack all the non-adventure parts first. I don’t wanna to be alone. I don’t wanna to hurt him. I don’t wanna to hurt me. But it’s inevitable. This is my calling and I must do it. The book that is to come it’s gonna be way worse, so I better get ready now.

On the good side, I’ve been writing in a rhythm that I had lost way back in january. I need to finish this, otherwise I’ll feel more and more guilty.

Maybe the end of this new cycle in my life will bring me just that. We are 30 days of finding out…

Ante bellum,

m.

Rosemary Diaries - Day 120

72 days of silence.

That’s how long I haven’t wrote a new blog post about the book. Cause to be true, nothing much had happened to the book, so I couldn’t really write about it, could I?

But things changed. For the past 2 days I’ve been dragged into darkness. This is the place I go when I need to be creative. All the worst in me comes out to hunt me down. I’ve become moody, annoying, insomniac and just plain awful. But it’s a place I need to go every now and then if I want to output something creative. It’s horrible. I really do feel like shit when all is said and done. But it’s totally worth it. In this 2 horrible days I’ve written 2 chapters for the book and had 1 realization.

You see, when I started all of this I had everything completely outlined. What I was aiming for, what I wanted to do and how I was going to do it. I had focus, I had energy and I had means to do it. This was 6 years ago and not a lot of that energy, focus and means has remained. But this past feels days might have changed everything. I realize that I’m not only writing a book on brazilian folklore. I’m not only writing a fairy tale. This is me. I’m writing about myself. I’m the clown in that story. I’m the one who falls in love with the princess and has to go into a one man mission to have her. It’s all me. And that’s where the darkness comes from. Why would someone go after all the little things that hurted oneself? Why would someone relive some really great moment just to realize that everything that came after was just horrible? Can you see what I mean? What I’m doing is absurd, but I gotta do it. I need to finish this. I needed to see the light, which I did this week.

Now Cravo is in the skies. In a castle in the clouds. He’s so close to what he’s looking for. He can, literally, smell the roses. The fairy tale is gonna end soon, otherwise I’ll.

Some years ago, I had this realization that I was born at least 70 years too late. I’m too romantic, too old, too poetic and too optimistic (and I’m also a cancer, if you are into the whole horoscope thing) to be living in this age of irony and desattachment. Thank to the higher powers I can escape and create this worlds and actually spend time in them.

The whole process of creating this book is coming to an end quite soon. And at the same time I’m gonna miss it dearly, I’m gonna be extremely happy to be able to see the light once more.

Aequam memento rebus in arduis servare mentem,

m.

Rosemary Diaries - Day 48

It’s been exactly 26 days since my last entry.

This is also the time I haven’t put a single word on paper. The book came to a halt in a violent sudden manner. Life had me back into a place I didn’t want to go and my beautiful lovers were the ones that suffered the consequences of staying apart for more than they deserved to.

But the project itself is in full throttle. On this silent period we have developed the whole project proposal and goals, and now it’s time to go after some kind soul that will give us the resources to spread this story to the four winds.

Also we decided to test the flow of what is already done. The awesome illustrator of the project, Jean Roux, has been kind enough to draw the first chapter for us. It’s no easy task as only in this chapter we have around 19 illustrations. He’s giving the final touches to the images but I have to tell you that’s looking simply AMAZING!

Now I have to step up my writing just to match up with what I’ve seem.

I will be silent again for the next couple of days, as I need to travel north for a couple of days.

Labor omnia vincit,

m.

ps: because of my commitment on the Land of Obama the RoseBeard updates had to be reseted. So starting on a couple of weeks the new wave on the excitement, that is to watch my beard grow, will restart to all your pleasure and excitement.

Rosemary Diaries - Day 22

It’s been a while, I know! Shame on me!

But things haven’t stop at all. Writing wise, yes. Production wise, not for a mile!

This past days writing didn’t stop. It was just a matter of timing and will.

I have done a lot of things on the book that was needed, so the book could come out on the timeframe I’ve imposed to myself.

You see, this is a pet project and also a quite important project for me. I feel that this is not my book anymore. A lot of people have donated their time and will to help me with this. From the people I bother asking for inspiration and guidance, to the people who are actually putting their work into the it.

So this past couple of days I had to assure that people were on board, and the ones that are still in will be properly awarded.

Another thing that was important to secure was that once this is done and printed, that the people that I’m writing this for gets the book into their hands for absolute no cost. I wont spoil what this means, but this week we had a HUGE step to make this happen.

On the writing side, I’m on the adventure. And every page I write I feel like I’m actually with Cravo running around the mysterious and exciting world that is the Rosemary Kingdom.

I’ll soon be able to share really exciting news… hang in there boys and girls!

Non scholae sed vitae discimus,

m.